Post-24

Thanks for the birthday wishes, blogging buddies!

We had a delicious dinner at Buca di Beppo, complete with tiramisu and a "Buca-sized cupcake" (pictured below). If you've never been to a Buca di Beppo, you absolutely must. It's a family-style Italian restaurant, so don't go unless there is at least 4 of you. I think the biggest group I ever had at Buca was 20-something people, about 1/3 of my floor in the residence hall first year of college for the end-of-the-year dinner.

This is what they mean by "Buca-sized" cupcake. Pretty big.

The most amusing part of the evening had to be when they came to sing "Happy Birthday" to "Janine." Well, I've heard some interesting butchering of my name but that was a new one. Also, they've started singing a new birthday song there -- the lyrics consisted of references to spaghetti and meatballs -- and NONE OF THEM knew how to sing it, much less the diners. So it was an awkward 30 seconds of humming along with the waiters, who were bumbling along with the written lyrics since they hadn't learned it yet.

Afterward, we hit up The Hip Kitty, a jazz lounge and fondue bar in Claremont, where a band we knew was jamming.

Thanks for coming out despite the pouring rain! If I hadn't gotten out that night, I'd have crazy cabin fever right now from the nonstop rain. And don't think I'm just being a whiny Californian, because there's no rain like Taiwan rain in April (where it basically poured nonstop for 3 weeks and I was in a Californian's nightmare).

Sun, come back soon, please!

24

This post will go (or has gone, depending on when you read this) live at exactly 12:01 AM, one full minute after I turn 24!

Every birthday, every new year, I always seem to want to sit down and evaluate my life. I think about the regrets and the pains, all the positive and negatives from the last 365 days since the last milestone had passed.

And I'm never happy with my evaluations.

It seems that it's not enough to want to change, or simply decide to be more active or aggressive or determined or whatever antonym to "lazy and passive" you want to use to kick start the life you always wanted. Too many people are all talk. You don't make a happy life off of good intentions -- waiting day after day, month after month, year after year for good things to come your way.

But it's not enough to just do things either, as I recall a time that I was an intern and was berated for doing something "half-ass" and not "walking the walk" because they didn't give me enough information to work off.

Wisdom comes with age and I believe it now, after several crappy internships and some horrible roommates. Years of friends coming and going, relationships failing, and late night conversations consisting primarily of the phrase "I don't know what to do." Wisdom comes with a price of getting hurt, sometimes losing time and money, and sometimes some innocence and faith.

Sometimes I'm scared that I've become jaded and that the wisdom I've gained over the last 24 years will be nothing compared to the wisdom (and its cost) to come.

But sometimes, I'll look forward to a small dinner of friends who stuck it out past rough times. I'll look forward to responding individually to well-wishers on FaceBook. And I'll have delicious tiramisu and I'll realize that the best thing I can do to be happy is to simply enjoy life, and to enjoy it in a simple way. And no amount of jaded wisdom can determine the future.

And then maybe... I'll enjoy being 24.

On Road Trips and Holiday Chaos

Whoa, it's been a while. Let's summarize where I've been for the last month.

First, I was the MOH of a lovely wedding for my high school bff Sheri. We had an adventure of a sleepover the night, which resulted in both of us getting... oh, maybe 3 hours of sleep. I threw her bachelorette party two nights before; we had a private class for burlesque dancing. Even though pole-dancing isn't normally part of burlesque, the studio left it in the room and the teacher showed us a little bit on it. The class was hilariously fun, partly because it was so awkward for all of us to be dancing sexy toward a mirror. One of the other bridesmaids (thanks, Kelli!) picked up an amusing penis cake, dressed up in a tuxedo and with the words "Much Hap-Penis to You, Sheri" on it.

I picked up the little crowns, beads, and sash at Party America, where there was a convenient little "Bachelorette Party Kit." You can't see them in this picture, but it also came with noise-makers, which were arguably the best part.

Congratulations again, "Shyle"!

Then I took off on a road trip with Clement and his family to the Bay Area, where my poor little so-cal butt was freezing. Our itinerary included Google, Fisherman's Wharf, Golden Gate Park, and Japantown. Clement picked up an amusing mug that was shaped in a semi-circle with the words "San Francisco was so expensive, I could only afford half a cup" printed on it. It was a blast playing with Clement's adorable nieces as usual. I got an ice cream maker for Christmas and look forward to using it in the upcoming months as it warms up. (Although, CA is pretty warm right now.) Clement got a Wii! Any ice cream recipes or Wii games to recommend?

Almost immediately upon arrival in San Jose, after a 6.5-hour drive, I received a phone call from a high school friend; She has an interview in SF next week and a couple of us gals were going to take a road trip to go with her, did I want to come along?

Mind you, this was no more than 5 minutes after our car had stopped. I told her I'd get back in touch with her after Christmas and let her know for sure. Mostly, I was concerned that I would be exhausted. But then I realized that we were reaching that age... everyone is running off in different career directions and then the next thing you know, everyone is settling down - getting married and popping out kids - and we'll be hard-pressed to ever find an opportunity for all of us to just up and drive somewhere. So I said yes.

One week later, I was on the road again to San Francisco again. We helped Diana prep for her interview during the long drive and reassured her after she came back to the hotel the following morning moaning that she had blown it. We adventured through rainy San Francisco: I nearly lost my favorite necklace charm (a Tiffany-inspired heart, Clement's Christmas gift to me last year) due to my scarf (also from Clement); replacing a flat tire with a little donut spare and then searching for a tire place to buy a full size (thank goodness for GPS); spending ages trying to find Chinatown; listening to the girls freak out about the insane hills in SF; and being stuck in traffic for hours extra than expected on the way back.

Two of the girls had made plans with their boyfriends for the night we got back, since we had expected to return about 4 hours before we actually returned. We were all exhausted from the trip and on edge from being stuck in so much traffic. But they were surprised to hear that I hadn't made plans to see Clement that night. "Nah," I told them, "You gotta give guys a chance to miss you." Besides, I was going to go home and sleep. Were they crazy? Make plans?

Two days later was New Year's Eve. Clement and I went to downtown Fullerton with a couple of friends to check out their festivities and take in the fireworks show at midnight. Afterward, I suggested Denny's and we found it to be PACKED when we arrived. Clement and I called it a night at about 3 am and headed home. I later found out that the others, who had planned a short nap before heading to the Rose Parade, had a flat busted tire and also needed AAA to come and jump-start their car battery. They eventually went straight to the Rose Parade on no sleep, while Clement and I had a quiet day at home.

I'm really looking forward to a new year. My family and I had really crappy luck/fortune last year and I'm sure it will turn around this year. This is the year!

7

Hello! You bloggerinas have been busy while I was moving; I came back to find lots of amazing stuff to catch up on!

My pal Phoenix over at Res ipsa loquitur has just tagged me in a post to share 7 things about myself! Like her, I was surprised to be tagged by an amazing writer ;-) and am totally stoked about sharing my 7!

1. I am an only child and hate it when people ask if I was lonely growing up without brothers or sisters because it doesn't seem occur to them that I had an entire childhood like that and therefore don't have any basis for comparison. (Nobody ever asks if a person disliked growing up blond or something else they couldn't help. -_-")

2. I have been to Paris twice and Taiwan twice because I have a lot of extended family in both places.

3. I speak (mostly fluent) Mandarin Chinese, which I studied for about 5 years outside of school, but can't remember any of the French I supposedly learned over 3 years in school.

4. I have never broken a limb, knock on wood.

5. When I was little, I thought being a school bus driver would be a great job. My 6-year-old brain had concluded that their jobs consisted only of picking up kids for school, dropping them off after school, and the occasional field trip. Even when I was little, I was lazy!

6. I used to be heavily addicted to World of Warcraft and was in an active raiding guild back when the cap was 60 and there were 40-man raids. (And you wonder where the "geek" part of my description came in.)

7. My boyfriend's nickname for me is "Bunny" because apparently the way I do air quotation marks looks like I'm making two pairs of bunny ears hop forward.

Tag, you're it -- I'd love to hear 7 from Jasmine, Brenda, Deb, Emily, Dionne, Nina, Lisa, and Tammi!

Goodbye Dinners, Part II

Tonight, I went out with a gaggle I call "the guys" for a goodbye dinner. Simple, low-key Korean BBQ followed by a quick expedition to Mitsuwa for more giant pocky.

Like every time I have hung out with these guys, there wasn't much planning but we always think of something to do. Or we sit around and rib each other. There is only one other girl who hangs around this group of guys in a purely platonic way (any other girls who have entered this circle have joined with the girlfriend tag and have since exited) is also moving out of San Diego at the end of the month.

I've known these guys since my first year of college and the group has grown and ebbed, drama with other people caused splits in what used to be a large group of friends... and through these events, I've learned a lot about the nature of friendship. Through the friendships and the more-than-friendships (or sometimes, I found, less-than-friendships) associated with the extended group, I've learned a lot about myself as an individual and as part of a relationship.

I've learned that no matter how tough I act, or much they insist that I am just one of the guys, there is more to me than what I present in one setting. I will never really be one of the guys, no matter how girly I'm not, just from the sheer fact that I am a girl. It's given me a lot to reflect about regarding platonic male/female relationships, even though by now I'm well aware that same-sex friendships can have the same levels of easiness and difficulty.

Are any of you gals "one of the guys"? Do you really feel like you are treated like one of the guys, or do you think it's an excuse to not be on their best behavior (like they would be around a significant other) around you?

Goodbye Dinners, Part I

Last night, I went out to dinner with my good friend Danette, a sister-in-arms of the San Diego event industry and budding blogger at Bizarre Treasures. It was meant to be a cocktail hour with several girls from our event management program but it is summer (the busiest season for weddings) so things popped up here and there and it wound up just being me and 'Nette.

We went to Roy's Hawaiian Fusion Restaurant downtown at the Harbor Drive Marriott (next to the Convention Center). The food was delicious and the drinks were strong, but the service left something to be desired.

Anyway, we complained about not having jobs and about all the difficulties of finding one. We complained about housing/moving and having too much clutter. And we complained about money.

Since we're both unemployed right now, we realized that dinner at a place like Roy's was probably not the wisest financial choice. But since we've been unemployed for some time, we've adjusted our life styles a lot over the months and decided that we deserved a treat. Besides, life is short... do we really want to worry about the price tag for this one dinner when we have no idea when we'll see each other in person again?

So we happily swallowed a totalled $90 dinner and parted ways, wondering what the future will hold for us and hoping that we'll be able to stay close in touch no matter how busy or physically far apart we get.

Saying Goodbye to San Diego

I went on a late-night drive around the areas I've lived near UCSD and went around the campus loop one time. As I drove, I thought and I reminisced.

Like high school, college held a lot of good memories mixed in with regrets and mistakes. But in college, I felt like I had made every single one of my own decisions, good or bad. And that sense of independence, the freedom to make my own mistakes, is what kept me here after graduation despite having no income.

I realized that I had a quite a bit of regrets about my college years but that I also couldn't keep those thoughts from escalating into regrets I have had throughout my life. Maybe, I thought as I drove, I could visit those memories - fond and otherwise - one last time and put all of them away. Like my regrets, I think about the what-ifs and the woulda-shoulda-couldas. But, at the risk of sounding cheesy, I wouldn't be who I am today or where I am today. I can never go back and all my hypothetical futures are just that -- hypothetical. Why think about the then and there when there is plenty in the here and now?

So, I'm coming to terms with leaving San Diego. There is a Chinese proverb about how not moving forward is the same as moving backward. There is no such thing as standing still. We are innately afraid of change but it is exactly that change that keeps us going. When nothing is changing, nothing is happening.

I'm trying to make arrangements to see as many of my San Diego friends as possible before I go, but time is short and they are busy people. I'm going to miss them, the city, the campus atmosphere, all the perks of a college town, and -- most of all -- the person I got to be when I was on my own in college. But that person is only a part of who I'm going to be.

I read somewhere that those who say high school or college was the best four years of their lives led very sad lives. We should always look up and forward, for we never know what the future has in store for us.

Goodbye, San Diego. I'll miss you but I won't be sorry for leaving. Thanks for the memories.

Giant Pocky

I went to Mitsuwa today with Sage and found something amazing.

Giant. Pocky.

Each stick almost the size of my forearm.

I should have taken a picture with the box but I was too eager to eat them all as I found them to be actually more delicious than normal Pocky! Luckily, there is always the internet:

(via RoG at i-mockery)

Thanks, internet, for helping my demonstrate the size of the giant Pocky. A quick Google search showed that Amazon.com also carries Giant Pocky. You know what would be the best thing ever? If Costco carried them in bulk.