Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Facing the Real World

As you know, I've been trying unsuccessfully to find a job since my college graduation in June of last year. Today, I went for an interview and tentatively accepted a staff position at an academic academy that does tutoring and standardized testing (SAT, ACT, etc.) prep. It's a 6-day work week and pays $9/hour.

She told me she wasn’t trying to lowball me, that it was the standard rate of pay for college-level or above education. Was that okay for me?

I wanted to say no, that I wanted the $36,000 average that UCSD claimed their new graduates made straight out of college. I wanted to protest about how my $40,000 education was only worth an extra dollar an hour compared to a high school education. I wanted to say that my internships were just as valuable as, if not more so than, any other work experience.

I wanted to cry, because I had always been taught that college was the fast track to success... that because I was smart enough to get into a good school and complete a degree there, I was supposed to have some kind of an advantage in the world.

And I know that I should consider myself lucky to get a job at all, because anything is more than $0/hour, especially for the experience and resume content... and I know that everyone has to start somewhere and that I will (eventually) move on to bigger and better things.

And even though I know, I know, I know.... that what I do as a job or how much I make isn't actually a reflection of what I'm worth as a person....

...it really hurts to feel like I'm not worth as much as I thought I would be.

The real world is pretty harsh.


  1. I am in the saaaame boat, so I totally sympathize--it's definitely harsh out there. But I guess the best thing we can do is just keep trying, right? Chin up! And thanks for the birthday wishes :)

  2. ohh shanna, i'm sorry. that is really hard. i wish i had words of comfort--- but all i have is that any job is a blessing right now! know that experience will get you far. i found when i graduated that i needed a degree AND experience. that was a big trial. i really am so sorry. but congrats--- do your best and you'll be rewarded :)

  3. ::hugs:: things will get better. And don't value your worth based on what you earn...don't go down that road, girl...you're better than that. Value yourself through your friendships, family, how well you treat others, and your ability to keep a sense of humor and perspective when the chips are down. A paycheck, no matter how big or small, will NEVER determine your worth as a individual.


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